Parenting: Knowing When to Give Advice and When to Simply Listen

Parenting is hard. It’s not a short-term gig—you’re in it for life. Suddenly, you’re not just responsible for yourself but for a tiny human who depends on you for everything. Unlike adult relationships, where people can manage themselves (most of the time), kids need you—constantly. And just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, the opinions, questions, and unsolicited advice start rolling in…

One thing is certain when you become a parent—no matter the age of your child—you will get looks (both pleasant and judgmental), endless questions (“When are you having another?” or “Why have kids at all?”), and, perhaps most of all, advice—wanted or not. Everyone has an opinion, and most of the time, it’s not meant to be negative.

With all the opinions, questions, and unsolicited advice, parenting can sometimes feel like navigating a never-ending maze of expectations. But the truth is, every parent’s experience is different. Some days, we’re searching for guidance, hoping someone will offer the perfect piece of wisdom to make things easier. Other days, we don’t need solutions—we just need someone to listen, to nod in understanding, and to remind us that we’re not alone in this journey. The challenge is knowing when to give advice and when to simply be there. Because sometimes, the best support isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about feeling heard.

Every parent’s needs change from moment to moment. Sometimes, a heartfelt piece of advice can provide clarity, relief, or even a fresh perspective. Other times, what we need most is not a solution, but validation—a moment to be seen, heard, and understood without judgment. So how do we know when to offer guidance and when to simply listen? Here are some real-life moments where parents may need one or the other:

The Overwhelmed Parent

“I love my kids, but some days, I feel like I’m running on fumes. Between work, school drop-offs, tantrums, and an endless to-do list, I barely recognize myself anymore. How do I find time for me without feeling guilty?”

The “Is This Normal?” Moment

“My toddler has suddenly started throwing full-on screaming fits over things like the wrong color cup. I try to stay calm, but sometimes I just want to cry, too. Is this just a phase, or am I doing something wrong?”

The Parent of a Big-Hearted, Sensitive Child

“My child gets their feelings hurt so easily—at school, with friends, even at home. I want to toughen them up a little, but I also don’t want to make them feel like their emotions aren’t valid. How do I help them handle the world without crushing their spirit?”

The Parent of a Strong-Willed Child

“Every single thing turns into a debate. I say no, they argue. I give a reason, they challenge it. I want to encourage independence, but I also just need them to put their shoes on without a 10-minute negotiation. How do I pick my battles?”

The Parent Who Feels Like They’re Failing

“Sometimes I lose my patience, sometimes I let them have too much screen time, and sometimes I just don’t know what I’m doing. I see all these ‘perfect’ parents online, and I wonder—am I the only one barely keeping it together?”

The Parent Who Just Wants to Be Heard

“I don’t need solutions. I don’t need judgment. I just need someone to say, ‘I see you. You’re doing your best.’ Because right now, it feels like no one really understands how hard this is.”

Parenting is an ever-evolving journey, and no one has all the answers. What works for one family may not work for another, and that’s okay. The most important thing we can do is offer each other grace—whether that means lending a listening ear, sharing advice when it’s truly wanted, or simply reassuring another parent that they’re not alone.

So the next time a fellow parent shares their struggles, pause for a moment and ask: Do they need advice, or do they just need someone to listen? Sometimes, the best thing we can do isn’t to fix the problem—it’s to remind them that they don’t have to face it alone.

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I’m Brenda

Welcome to Cluttered Corner, my cozy little corner on the internet where I embrace the chaos of daily life! Here, I navigate the ups and downs of being a wife, mum with a dash of anxiety, unapologetic book hoarder, lover of all things cute, and amateur genealogist.

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